Lost Lives
by titangirl161
Summary: Goku is having dreams of someone named Konzen. Sanzo doesn't know who's he talking to, but figuring it's an old family member of his, he's determined to help Goku find the answer...even if it means saying goodbye to him. rated for Gojyo's mouth
1. Prologue

Hello everyone, I'm back again with another saiyuki fanfic

Hello everyone, I'm back again with another saiyuki fanfic! Woooooo! This one I got from looking at a picture of Goku who was holding onto Sanzo's robes, but was looking at Konzen who was standing behind him, the story almost wrote itself. I kept it in my head a while working it out, but now I'm finally ready to put it down. My puppy-muse will do the disclaimer and we'll begin!

Scribble: We don't own Saiyuki. We do not even own saiyuki mangas; we just leech off her friend fellow authoress W2cm. So yeah, we own nothing.

Lost Lives

Prologue

Sanzo was rudely awakened by the snoring boy next to him, and rolled over irritated, wondering why he even said yes in the first place. Goku had to come to his room in the temple in the middle of the night, saying that he had a nightmare and asking if he could sleep in Sanzo's room that night. Sanzo mostly still asleep, just grumbled out a yes not really thinking…BIG mistake that turned out to be. Now Goku was snoring loudly and mumbling in his sleep, tossing and turning everywhere, ensuring no sleep for Sanzo that night, unless he got rid of Goku soon.

"Baka saru, I swear if you do not stop snoring this instant I'm going to kill you," Sanzo grumbled murderously to his young charge.

Goku continued snoring, and Sanzo kicked him. "Sanzooooooo…" Goku whined in his sleep. Sanzo wasn't really surprised he could do that, ever since Hakkai informed him that he could scold in his sleep. The next thing DID surprise him.

Not two minutes later, Goku mumbled, and Sanzo was about to kick him again (and if he woke up this time, kick him out of the room for the night) when he heard Goku whisper, "Konzen…."

Sanzo froze. Konzen? Who the hell was that? Sanzo had surely never heard that name before…so who was Goku talking to?

A thought suddenly chilled him. Goku had been locked in the cave for 500 years, and while he'd had a life before that, he couldn't remember any of it. Could it be Goku was beginning to remember? Did he have a family, and a family member with the name Konzen?

Sanzo definitely wouldn't sleep the rest of the night.

Scribble: THAT'S IT? THAT'S NOTHING!

Me: Well, that was short, but it's only a prologue, and a longer first chapter is coming VERY soon. Well, thanks for reading everyone. Please don't flame me telling me it's horrible, because that can't help me improve at all. Good reviews and constructive criticism are always welcomed. Long Live the Sano-ikkou!

-titangirl161


	2. True Family

Well, just as promised, here's the first chapter of the story, and let me just say this is my first time writing a longer story in a long time…I've been doing one-shots for so long I'm surprised I haven't forgotten how to do this. I must be getting lazy or something, but it's nice to write a multi-chapter fic again. THANK YOU REVIEWERS! You guys are the best! So, Scribble, lead us in!

Scribble: We do not own Saiyuki, and no matter how much we love it, we most likely will never own it.

Me: IMPORTANT NOTE! This chapter takes place about one month after the prologue. Just so we all know. So enjoy!

Lost Lives

Chapter 1: True Family

"Hello?" the voice of a certain green eyed demon called into the temple. His ill-mannered redhead friend just barged in.

"C'mon Hakkai, we all know his unholiness is here somewhere," Gojyo drawled, and no sooner had the words left his mouth, a bullet whizzed past his head.

"There, see?" he said, stepping aside to reveal a pissed looking Sanzo.

"And who said you were invited in?"

"You and the other brat said we could come visit!"

"Do you usually go around breaking into other people's homes?"

"It's nice to see you too Sanzo," Hakkai spoke despite the fact the other two were too busy arguing to pay him any notice.

"Speaking of which, where is the monkey?" Gojyo wondered.

"I'M NOT A MONKEY!" Goku yelled, jumping into the room and kicking the kappa in the head.

"Ow! What the hell do you think you're doing?" And so the two began their usual fighting, while Hakkai continued to smile and Sanzo fantasized about shooting both in the head.

Soon all four were seated and catching up, and deciding to get something to eat, Gojyo was once again nominated to get food. "Why do I always have to go?" he protested.

It was just the chance Sanzo was waiting for. "Take him with you then," he motioned to Goku.

Gojyo sighed. "Fine, as long as he doesn't eat everything before we get back. Get over here monkey," he called to Goku as he headed out the door.

"Stop calling me monkey!" Goku yelled as he followed him out, starting another fight. Sanzo vaguely wondered if it was such a good idea.

Hakkai looked up at Sanzo, the smile never leaving his face but his eyes clearly showed he knew what was coming. "Well, I don't think Gojyo catches these things so much, but I know you did not just call us over here just to talk, and I think what you really wanted to discuss you made sure to send out the door as well, although I do admire your discretion."

"It's dangerous keeping you around, you know me all too well," Sanzo muttered.

"Well, what could possibly be wrong with Goku?"

"It started about a month ago. He's been calling to someone called Konzen in his sleep."

Hakkai's eyes widened. "Konzen?" he asked. The name sounded so familiar…in the back of his mind…where had he heard it before? He just couldn't remember.

"Yeah. The first time I didn't think much of it, but it's been going on about a month now, always the same name. I really can't figure out who he's talking to though."

"Well, who would be your best guess?"

"I started thinking maybe, he could be calling for his family."

Hakkai's eyes got bigger (yes, it was possible). "Family?"

"When I first found him, he didn't remember anything but his name. But maybe now his memories are coming back. And maybe he's remembering a family he first had. Only problem with that is, he's been in that cave for 500 years. Whoever they were, they're long gone by now."

"But, you're thinking he could have relatives."

Sanzo shoved a cigarette in his mouth. That was the thought he had tried to avoid thinking about these past weeks. "Yeah," he said lighting it.

"So what do you plan to do?"

"No idea. I wouldn't even know where to start. Even in the town the mountain was near, nobody knew anything about what was up there, only that it was some kind of demon."

"Did you ask Goku about it?"

Sanzo puffed his cigarette. "No."

"Avoiding the problem is not the best way to deal with it you know. I seriously doubt it will just go away. And if you don't, Goku will probably realize and bring it up, and then you'll really have no choice."

Sanzo puffed away on his cigarette more, not saying anything. Hakkai watched him, and he could guess what was going through Sanzo's head. "You do know, he doesn't know them at all. Given the choice, he would probably choose to stay with you."

"Who said anything about that?" Sanzo bristled.

"You didn't say it, but it's written all over your face."

"It is not. And I don't care where he chooses to go."

"How long has Goku been here with you? Since he was what, 11?"

"Too long," Sanzo murmured.

"Apparently."

"You really do know me too well. I may have to stop talking to you."

(A/N: I was gonna make this another chapter, but I decided to put it on the end on this one. On three, ok? One…two…three: THANK YOU AURTHORESS! Now on with the story!)

Elsewhere

"Stupid Gojyo, ditching me as soon as a pretty girl walks by," Goku grumbled as he trudged through the streets alone with the food they had bought. "See if I ever go shopping with him again."

He walked back toward the temple, but he was interrupted when a voice called to him, "Hey, little boy, would you like to hear a story?"

Goku turned to see an older woman sitting in small booth. She was dressed as a gypsy, and appeared to be some kind of fortune teller. Goku shrugged. "Sure why not?" he told her as he walked over to her booth and sat down at the chair there.

The woman smiled at him. "This story takes place a long time ago, in a far away place. In this place was a dignified man who felt like life had nothing for him, and he would die of boredom. One day, his aunt called him in as a heretical creature was brought in. The first thing the being did, no sooner as he saw the man, whose name was Konzen, was to go right up to him, and upon touching his hair, complimented him saying how pretty it was, that it was shining just like the sun. The boy was put in Konzen's care, and was given a name, made a few friends, gave the man something to do now, and was pretty happy with his life in this new place. But there was an evil man there, who would use people like this boy for their own purposes, and when Konzen learned this, he was quite concerned, and worried about the welfare of the boy to whom he'd grown attached. Then, one day, the man decided to take the boy, but Konzen, determined not to let this man get his hands on him, did all within his power to escape with the boy, but in the end wasn't able to do so, and so he saved the boy by staying behind to stop the man, forfeiting his own life. Meanwhile, the boy made his way to Konzen's aunt to tell her what happened, and his aunt did the only thing she could that would be best for the boy…she locked away his memories and locked him inside the earth to wait for the day Konzen would return."

Goku stared in shock. "That story…that was terrible. It's so sad, it's possibly the worst story I've ever heard."

"Oh, but it has a happy part next. Konzen was reincarnated as a human, and he found the boy, and the two were reunited."

Goku looked relived. "Oh good, well at least the story has a happy ending."

"Does it?" she asked, and she reached out and placed two fingers on Goku's forehead. "I don't know. After all, you're still writing it, Goku."

Goku's eyes rolled up and he slumped over. And two seconds later the woman was gone.

"Hey! Hey, you stupid monkey, wake up! I know you're not dead, wake up!"

Goku groaned and his eyes fluttered open. Gojyo was kneeling next to him looking pretty worried. Seeing him awaken, relief flooded his face, and he whacked Goku over the head. "Don't scare me like that monkey!"

"What the hell?" Goku did not appreciate waking up to Gojyo's fist.

"Why are you asking me? I should be asking you! Why are you lying here in the middle of the street?"

Goku opened his mouth, but couldn't find an answer. He stared blankly, he remembered a gypsy and something about a story and…

KONZEN

The name came to him suddenly, but from where he couldn't say. 'Who is Konzen?' he wondered. But Gojyo was yelling how he was leaving and if Goku didn't catch up he'd leave him there, so Goku got up and followed, troubled and confused.

Elsewhere

"Lady Kanzeon, you know you shouldn't be going down to earth!" her servant called as she returned to the temple.

She sighed. "Relax, even if Goku did remember me, I was in disguise anyway. Besides, if Li Touten can break the rules, I should surely be able to."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Oh, you didn't hear? He's figured out Goku is on earth, and just found him. He won't have much time, but he's going to use the only chance he gets before the Jade Emperor returns and realizes he's gone to get Goku and make him into a war god. But as long as my nephew is with him, I think Goku should be pretty safe."

She grinned as she walked away. "Do you think you can handle the truth, Son Goku?" she asked nobody.

Scribble: I like the suspense.

Me: Yeah, I do too. Well, here is your first (LONG) chapter. The next chapter might take a bit, as I don't know exactly when the problem will be confronted, as I have several ideas on how it could play out. So I will need to think about it. But thanks go to all who read, who keep reading, and especially to those who review. Please don't flame, good reviews and con crit are welcomed. Long Live the Sanzo-ikkou!

titangirl161


	3. Rainy Nights Decision

Scribble: Well, I'm typing now, since our authoress is doing a happy dance because of the nice reviews. She would like to thank you all for your positive feedback, and is very grateful and happy, and the only problem with this is now I have to type. Oh well.

Me: WAIT! I have a note! This is very important, since I get this with too many stories I write. NOTE: THIS IS NOT YAOI BECAUSE I DO NOT WRITE YAOI. Therefore, there is no SanzoxGoku pairing, however, since in my eyes they do have a bit of a father/child relationship, they will have their moments. That's all.

Scribble: So let's continue. Before we begin, we do not own this, no matter how much we would like to. So let us present our latest chapter!

Lost Lives

Chapter 2: Rainy Nights Decision

He was running, running, running, but he could barely see and he didn't know where he was going. There was someone pulling him along, he couldn't see his face, but he could see long blonde hair flowing behind him. It looked just like Sanzo's, but before Goku could say anything, the man pushed him ahead of him, yelling, "Keep running, I'll hold him back as long as I can. My aunt's temple is just up ahead, tell her what's happened, she'll make sure you'll be safe." Goku couldn't move. He couldn't even really see much of the man in front of him. The man turned, but Goku couldn't see his face, but seeing Goku still there, he yelled, "Why are you just standing there? Run! Don't worry about me, just go!"

Goku took off, scared for the man and confused beyond all reason. He ran until he ran into something…or more correctly, someone. It was himself, years younger, and he had tears in his eyes. "Wasn't it enough?" the younger him whispered. "Wasn't it enough that you had to get Konzen killed, now you want to kill Sanzo too?"

Goku woke up panting and sweating. He looked around. He was definitely in the temple. He got up and quickly crept to Sanzo's room, and peeked in. Sanzo was there, asleep. He decided not to bother him, knowing Sanzo could get cranky without enough sleep. The sun was rising, so Goku decided to go outside, feeling like he needed to find the fortune teller from the day before.

He walked along the streets, where all the merchants were just setting up, but he couldn't find her anywhere. He must've passed the place he first met her four times, and then he heard a man's voice. "Excuse me?" Goku turned to see a man standing where he had met the gypsy yesterday. Maybe he would know something. As he approached the man, the man said, "Are you the young man who was here yesterday?"

Goku was surprised. "Yeah, I was called over by a fortune teller. Do you know where she is?"

"She has sadly left, but she wanted me to give you something," the man handed a slip of paper to Goku. He looked down at it, and all it said was, 'You'll find answers on Mount Seitai.' When he looked up again, the man was also gone.

Elsewhere

"So Jiroshin how was earth?" the merciful goddess teased gently.

Jiroshin looked rather unhappy. "You know I'm not comfortable going down there like that. Although I admit, it's still strange to see them in this form while I still remember so clearly who they were."

"Well, thank you for helping me, but I just thought it would be so much more mysterious this way." Kanzeon was grinning like a fox as she usually did and Jiroshin could only sigh.

"So what do you think my darling nephew will do now? Think he'll go with him?"

Jiroshin paled. "But…if he doesn't, Li Touten will get Goku for sure."

"And wouldn't that make it all the more interesting?"

Meanwhile

Two days had passed since Goku's dream and meeting the strange man on the street. He wanted to talk to Sanzo, and tell him how he wanted to go, but Sanzo looked so stressed and seemed so irritable lately Goku was almost afraid to bring it up. He finally decided one night that he would wait no longer and ask him the next day.

Just his luck, it was raining the next day.

Sanzo was miserably staring off into the rain, and Goku stood just outside the door so his caretaker couldn't see him. He knew it was a bad idea to talk to Sanzo while it was raining, as Sanzo got worse whenever it rained. But he would burst if he had to hold it in any longer.

He got down on his hands and knees, and quietly as possible crawled across the floor, creeping closer and closer until he was right up next to the bed. Pushing himself back up on his knees, he then inched closer and closer to Sanzo's hand that was lying over the bed, and he moved even closer until the hand brushed his face ever so gently.

Sanzo looked down in confusion and surprise, but seeing it was Goku, he relaxed again, and in a few moments was unconsciously stroking Goku's hair. Goku felt so relaxed, he almost didn't want to even say a word, just staying there like that would be fine by him, but he needed to know.

As Sanzo sat there, he felt calm for some reason. Maybe it was Goku's presence that calmed him, he wasn't sure. All he knew that as long as they sat there in silence, he didn't feel so bad.

Goku just had to ruin that.

"Sanzo?"

Sanzo was slightly irked, but not too angry. "What?"

"I keep having dreams about someone…his name is Konzen."

Sanzo froze, seeing as it was just as Hakkai predicted. Goku continued. "I saw this fortune teller, and she gave me directions on how to find out about him. I really do want to know, just even who he is at least. Sanzo, please, can we-"

Sanzo didn't know what made him do it. The rain, his already worried mind, the stress, but at that moment he couldn't take it anymore. And he backhanded Goku's face.

Immediately he wished he hadn't. Goku's cheek turned red, and Goku raised his hand to touch it in surprise. It wasn't that it was the first time Sanzo hit him, or even the fact that Sanzo did hit him, because Sanzo did that a lot. But never like that. He would smack him with his fan, kick him, once tried to drown him and Gojyo both, but he had never smacked him with his hand like that. Surprise turned to confusion, then hurt, and he saw tears come to Goku's eyes and his charge ran out the door.

Sanzo chased after him, calling his name, outside into the rain. He was getting soaked but he didn't care, he had never meant to drive Goku away like that. The water poured all around him, he heard the roar of thunder, and he couldn't tell where Goku had gone off to.

He didn't have to look far. He found Goku under a tree, huddling close to himself to stay a little dry (A/N: Doesn't he know you shouldn't sit under trees during a thunderstorm?) and sobbing a little. Sanzo approached him and gently grabbed his hand. "Let's go back inside monkey."

"NO!" Goku yelled, trying to wrenching himself free of Sanzo grip. "You're always like this towards me, you obviously don't care about me at all! If I knew in the cave that you would treat me like this, I would've told you to leave me there!"

Sanzo's eyes widened in shock and his grip around Goku's wrist tightened a little, but otherwise, he just stood there, frozen. Goku knew something was wrong immediately and whispered, "Sanzo?"

Sanzo spoke very softly, as if speaking only to himself. "If that's how you really felt, why didn't you stop? Why did you keep calling? Why didn't you ever stop for a moment? If that's how you really felt, why did you call ME?"

Goku was really scared now. He had been angry at him, sure, but he could tell his words just stung a lot. He really hadn't meant to hurt Sanzo that deeply. "Sanzo…I'm…I…."

Sanzo released his wrist and bowed his head down, so Goku couldn't see his eyes. "Ok then, I'll help you find Konzen."

Goku was not expecting that kind of response, but it was a positive one none the less. "You…you will?"

Sanzo nodded. "Whenever you're ready."

Goku broke out in a smile. "Thank you Sanzo, thank you so much!" he cried hugging the monk.

And because of his bent head and the rain, Goku couldn't see the few tears that fell from Sanzo's eyes.

Scribble: It's SAD! Why did you make it sad?

Me: I really did have to, it's an important part of the story, where you see the first cracks in Sanzo's composure before he comes to a realization. Well, my friends, here is the next part, I'm glad to share with you. A few notes:

1. I got the mountain name by putting together the first syllables of Seiten Taisei. I'm such a loser.

2. I used the line Goku used in episode 39. It's also important.

3. It's raining outside as I write this. I was under a patio, but then my lappy was getting wet, so I was forced to move inside. But as I typed while it rained, it was just so easy to see the whole scene playing out in my mind.

So that's this chapter. Fun, huh? I'll be doing a story on the side of this for Gintama, but never fear, I will keep posting for this story until the end. So please go hit that little blue button for me? Good reviews help me write faster, and con crit helps me write better. Long Live the Sanzo-ikkou!

-titangirl161


	4. Travels and a Stalker

Ok, I'm back again for chapter four! Yay four chapters! I swear I haven't written something this long in so long, although I do have it mostly planned out how it's gonna turn out. So I won't keep you waiting longer, and start right away. However, there is something that's been on my mind. I get all kinds of things in my e-mail about how this has been added to everyone's favorite story/alert/whatever, but I rarely see any reviews for the names. While I am flattered, would you be so kind as to review at least once? I like hearing what people think about my stories! And thanks to the people who did review! You all rock! Take it away Scribble!

Scribble: Oh, how we WISHED we owned Saiyuki. We do not. And if we did, no one would want to read it. (What2callmyself: Except for me…because I read everything of yours! O.O)

Me: NOTE: My best friend as fellow authoress What2callmyself likes reading my stories, and I asked her to look over the chapters and correct them (I may have her beta my stories, which would make her happy as then she'll always be the first to see them) and she also added a couple notes of her own, as you can see.

Lost Lives

Chapter 3: Travels and a Stalker

As Sanzo and Goku headed back inside the temple that rainy night, Goku going on about how he wanted to leave as soon as possible, neither of them noticed the eyes that were watching them from above in a tree, with a twisted triumphant grin on the lips attached to it. _I finally found you, Son Goku. _

The Next Day

"Sanzo, c'mon, let's go!" Goku whined to the monk as they walked up in the woods.

Sanzo groaned. He could barely keep up with Goku, and it was annoying him. He needed to either quit smoking or find a way to get Goku to slow down. Since the first one wasn't gonna happen, he decided to take a smoke break, sitting down.

Goku turned to see what he was doing and groaned. "Sanzo, you already took three smoke breaks! We won't get anywhere if you keep going like this!"

"Shut up baka saru! If I want to take twenty smoking breaks then I will."

Goku sighed. "You should stop smoking."

"You should mind our own business. I think you should stop eating twice your weight a day, but you don't see me complaining about it."

"Hey! I don't eat twice my weight a day!"

"Sure, of course you don't," Sanzo muttered sarcastically, but then added under his breath, "You eat more like 100 times."

"Hey, you just made fun of me didn't you? What did you say?" Goku demanded to know.

"I have idea what you're talking about."

The argument could've gone on all day, but at that time, they heard a low growl. Both were on guard almost instantly, and they looked around the area. There was no animal in sight, but then they both turned to where they heard a rustle in the bushes, and they waited until out came…

…a rabbit.

"Awwww it's so cute!" Goku cried going over and picking it up.

"Stop playing with it, we don't have time for this!" Sanzo barked, but almost no sooner had the words left his mouth then Goku dropped the rabbit letting out a sharp cry.

"What is it?"

"The rabbit bit me!" Goku whined.

Sanzo wondered if it had rabies. "Let me look." He inspected the wound, and it didn't look too bad. The skin wasn't even broken. "It's fine. It probably didn't want to be held."

Then he noticed the rabbit was now pushing against Goku's leg, as if trying to push him away. "What is going-" Sanzo couldn't even finish his statement, because out of nowhere a raccoon jumped out and bit Sanzo's leg.

"Ow!" Sanzo yelled, kicking the raccoon away. His leg wasn't bleeding, but he knew that was only by pure luck. Still, that was something he couldn't understand; he had never seen a raccoon come out like that in daylight. So why…?

"Uh, Sanzo?" Goku asked. Sanzo looked up and saw they were being surrounded by many animals of all different types. Sanzo knew right then that they weren't welcome in this forest. "What do we do now?" Goku asked.

"Run!" Sanzo commanded and soon the two of them had taken off, trying to avoid the attacking animals. Goku brought out his Nyoi-bo and was knocking them away whenever they came too close, and Sanzo was also just trying to avoid their attacks.

(A/N: I think I spelled the name of Goku's weapon wrong. If anyone knows the correct spelling, please let me know!) (What2callmyself: It's fixed now! Yay!)

They soon stopped, panting, and Sanzo really did have to consider if it would be a good idea to quit smoking. "I think we lost most of them," Goku panted. "But I've never seen animals act so viciously like that. What did we ever do to them?"

"I think the main point is we weren't wanted there,' Sanzo informed him.

"Is that why they were going crazy like that? I swear I'll never go there again if that's the case!"

"Well, we seem to be safe for now," Sanzo said.

He had spoken too soon. They heard a growl once again, and both slowly turned to see a bear letting out a roar upon seeing them, already up on its back legs, obviously out for blood.

"Oh no, what do we do," Goku mumbled.

"Stay perfectly still," Sanzo mumbled back, freezing in place.

"But what if it attacks us?"

"Play dead. Bears won't attack you if you do that."

"But I really have to sneeze."

"Can't you hold it in?" Sanzo mumbled angrily, as the bear was watching them now, not attacking, seeming to wait.

Goku sneezed and the bear roared again. Sanzo knew their first plan was out, so it was time for plan B- which was to continue doing what they had previously been doing. They both tore through the forest, the bear close after then.

"What do we do?" Goku yelled at Sanzo as they ran on.

Sanzo had an idea suddenly as a memory returned. It would be risky, but it was the only the choice they had. He stopped running and turned to face the bear, standing his ground.

"Sanzo, what are you doing?" Goku cried, but he stayed behind, his staff out, in case whatever Sanzo was doing didn't work.

Sanzo stood there, and the bear stopped as well, and both eyed each other. "We apologize for intruding in your territory, but we have to take this path," he told the bear. "We are not here to take land from you, we are only passing through, so just let us pass and we won't bother you again." The two eyed each other some more, then the bear got down and lumbered away from the two.

Goku stood there, agape. "How did you DO that?" he asked Sanzo.

"I remembered how I did it a long time ago, and just did the same thing."

"That's so cool! I didn't know you could do that!"

Sanzo looked at him a little confused. "I haven't told you that story?"

"No, I've never heard it."

Sanzo was about to say something, when he noticed the same rabbit from earlier. He was about to knock it away, but then he noticed it wasn't pushing at Goku's leg, but nuzzling him instead.

"Aw, he's saying he's sorry for attacking me. He's just a big softie," Goku said picking up the rabbit and cuddling it.

The other animals were coming back too, looking perfectly friendly and harmless. Normally, this would be fine, but Sanzo felt uneasy. The animals had never been out to hurt them…they had been under some kind if spell, Sanzo could tell that much. But who could've put such a strong spell on them? And more importantly, why? Was another kind of demon after them?

Sanzo had no time to ponder this, as Goku had already set off again and was far ahead of him. "Hurry up Sanzo, or you get no more smoke breaks!"

"I'll take a smoke break whenever I want to!" Sanzo snapped back, hurrying to catch up with his charge.

The same eyes that watched them the night before first looked angry, but then smug again. _Well, it's too bad that failed, but how could I expect any less of the great Konzen? But that doesn't matter. Next time my plans will work, and Goku will be mine._

Scribble: Suspense again!

Me: Yes perhaps. This chapter was basically a last minute addition to my story, just a funny little something before it starts getting serious again. I like to put lots of different elements in my stories after all, otherwise it's just bland. So, there it is, friends. Thanks for reading this mess spewing out of my head, and more thanks to those who review. Please don't give me useless flames. Con crit and good reviews make me happy. Long Live the Sanzo-ikkou!

-titangirl161


	5. Bonus Chapter

Hey people! As you can tell from the title, this WAS NOT originally in my mind as I was thinking this up, however, this came to me last night and I realized I really wanted to put in on this story, since it fit so well. This also fits right into this part without moving back or forth in time, so that works well too. YAY! And, as always, THANK YOU REVIEWERS! I LOVE YOU! (Reviewers run away) Oops. Guess I won't be doing that again. So let's get this new part done. Scribble?

Scribble: We do not own saiyuki, saiyuki reload, saiyuki gaiden, or anything relating to saiyuki. We do not even own the eighth manga which we borrowed from W2cm which is sitting in our room.

Bonus Chapter

The Best Thing is not Always Good

Goku was dreaming again, watching the scene that was playing out before him.

The younger Goku ran into the temple and almost right into a woman who was standing there. "Merciful Goddess!" he yelled, and panted, trying to catch his breath.

"Goku? What are you doing here?" she asked as if she already knew the answer.

"You have to hurry! There…he…Konzen…."

"Calm down. Explain to me what's going on."

"There's no time! Li Touten…or whoever he is…he was trying to get me, so Konzen and I ran, but he told me to go, and he stayed back, and now he's in trouble! Hurry! We have to go help him!"

Kanzeon looked down at him with sad eyes. Goku started to turn the way he had come from, pulling at her arm. "We can't just sit here and wait! Konzen's in danger! We have to help him now or…or…."

Kanzeon didn't say anything but as Goku looked back up at her, he understood she wasn't going to move. "Why…why aren't you doing anything? I don't understand! I thought he was your nephew!" Tears came to his eyes and he tried even harder to fruitlessly pull her away. "Why won't you help him? Don't you see? This isn't a joke, he really needs help!" He started to cry. "Don't you care if he dies?"

The goddess sighed. "This was something he chose. He chose to protect you, even if it came to this, and he knew it. It would almost be wrong to stop it now."

Goku looked up in surprise, still crying. "He did this for me?"

Kanzeon nodded.

"But…why? I wasn't any help to him, I didn't do anything good for him, I was only in the way. Why would he die for me? I don't deserve that! I wanted to be able to do something for him, to show him how happy I was that he took care of me! I can't let that happen!" He turned to run back, but this time it was Kanzeon who grabbed his arm.

"Even if you could do something it's too late now, Goku."

Goku froze. "What? No…Konzen can't be…."

"I'm sorry."

"He can't be dead! He's strong, and I know he wouldn't just die like that! He won't die! Konzen can't die!"

Goku collapsed on the floor and began to sob. Kanzeon gently put her hand on his shoulder. "He died completing what he wanted to do. He wanted to be able to protect the one and only thing he ever really cared about. He wanted you to be safe, and he made it possible. Don't let his efforts be in vain Goku." She sighed and placed her hand against his forehead. "I'm sorry, but this is the only way."

A light glowed from her hand and Goku slumped over onto the floor. She looked down at him sadly. "I know this isn't a good way, but it will be the least painful on you. You memories will be unknown to you, but you won't have to remember this sadness. You'll have to stay locked inside the earth a long time, but at least them Li Touten won't be able to find you, but you will be freed. I know my dear nephew will come back to you, in a different form, and as a different person, but he will come, and you'll be with him once again."

Goku was shaken awake. "Let's get started Goku," Sanzo mumbled.

Goku rubbed his eyes. The dream troubled him a little, but he didn't even know anything about those people. Still, now he was more curious about Konzen then ever before, but he felt he wasn't going to like what he found.

For the first and only time that trip, Sanzo led the way and Goku lagged behind.

Scribble: This was so sad!

Me: I know, I almost cried as I wrote it. Poor little Goku! I also recently read chapter 15(?) of Saiyuki Gaiden, and the look on Konzen's face when Goku became the Seiten Taisei was just heartbreaking. So, while this isn't an official part of the story, you all are lucky enough to read it! And I always love reviews! Con crit and good reviews are loved by your truly! Next part coming very soon! Long Live the Sanzo-ikkou!

-titangirl161


	6. Trap

Hello friends

Hello friends! I'm once again to here to continue my story of happiness and fun and whatnot. WARNING: ANGST ALERT! These next two chapters will be especially angst-y as Sanzo finally admits something to himself. Oh, I'm going to have fun with the angst. I'm so evil. Also, to clear up confusion from one reader, the man is mostly after Goku, but needs to get rid of Sanzo to get him, so he's after him too. Just to clear that up. So fueled by the power of chocolate milk and happiness from reviews, I start again! Let's go Scribble!

Scribble: Can't you figure it out by the last few warnings? We don't own Saiyuki. We never will own it either.

Lost Lives

Chapter 4: Trap

A few days later, in the afternoon, they were resting, Sanzo leaning with his back against a tree and Goku sleeping with his head in Sanzo's lap.

Sanzo stared down at him. Over the last few days, Goku had been dreaming rather peacefully. Perhaps it was because they were going to the place Goku told him about where they could learn about Goku's past. Mount Seitai. Sanzo had heard of it but had never been there. He had once heard a rumor that it was a shrine dedicated to the deceased deities, but was sure that was just a superstition. They had just made it a little bit up the mountain before stopping to rest.

Sanzo looked up again, staring into nothing. What had possibly possessed him to do this anyway? He knew that Goku had really wanted to do it, and that was probably the only reason. Then he was assaulted by the thoughts he had been trying to avoid this trip.

Goku had another family before he met Sanzo. If they wanted to take care of him, how could Sanzo refuse? The only claim he had to the boy was that he had freed him from his mountain top cage. And Goku…would he want to stay with him as well? He remembered what Hakkai had told him. _Given the choice, he would probably choose to stay with you. _For some reason, Sanzo had a hard time believing it was true.

'The temple will be quiet without him,' Sanzo thought suddenly. While he always complained about how much noise Goku made, that thought made him sad again. He didn't understand why he felt that way. Goku was always running around, stealing food, getting in all the monks way, taking in animals, tracking dirt, being annoying, folding Sanzo's paperwork into paper planes (It took forever to convince Goku to use his own paper to do that), being loud, because that's what Goku did, and Goku was always…he was always….

He was always there. Wherever Sanzo was, Goku was always with him, right by his side. After the first time he took him on a mission with him, when he was going to arrest Hakkai, Goku would ask to go on every mission with Sanzo, and Sanzo would agree to let him go. He thought at first it was his way of giving the other monks a break by getting Goku out of their hair (even though they had none) for a short while, but now he realized there had always been another reason behind it.

Sanzo was lonely. He had never thought about it, but he was. It wasn't pleasant, but it was better than getting close to someone he would lose. But with Goku by his side, he never felt it. It actually felt nice to have someone to talk to sometimes, even if Goku was almost always talking about FOOD. He never felt lonely because he always had Goku with him, and the little monkey always seemed to drive the loneliness and sadness away. Because Goku…

He felt something and realized Goku was stirring, mumbling in his sleep. He put his hand on the boy's shoulder and shook him.

Inside Goku's Dream

He saw two people fighting, but he couldn't see who they were. It was too dark, there was rain falling, and Goku was surprised he could see at all. He could tell one figure was clearly winning, the other was weaker, and struggling more as it was losing more and more by the minute.

The winning man laughed. "Oh, how the mighty have fallen." He strode over to where the man was trying to stand and kicked him over. "Konzen, why do you keep fighting? Haven't you ever noticed what color his eyes are? You know what he is."

The man- Konzen- coughed and forced himself back to his feet. "Do you think I'm blind, or stupid? I've always known. Do you think that matters to me? Goku's mine! I won't let you take him from me!"

He made one more charge at the man, and Goku was about to call to him when he felt something shaking.

End of Dream

Goku woke up to find Sanzo shaking his shoulder. "You seemed to be having a nightmare."

Goku nodded. "Yeah, kinda." As he tried to think back, he realized he didn't even remember what his dream was about. "I can't remember it though."

"That means it's probably not that important."

Goku stretched. "I guess so. Well, I'm done with my nap, so let's get going again."

Once again, Goku was leading the way while Sanzo trailed behind. The sky was getting dark as gray clouds were rolling in. Sanzo could tell it would start to rain soon, and hoped maybe they could find a place to stay until the rain ended.

Soon, just as Sanzo had predicted, the water started to fall. Their trek upward on the mountain was getting harder and harder. They were following a path, but it was rocky and the rocks were getting slippery, and Goku fell over. "Ow!"

"Stop going so fast, you're going to trip more," Sanzo advised.

Goku glared at him and as he got up, he saw something that made him freeze. Sanzo saw it too. Trees were rolling down the mountain at them. Lots of trees. BIG trees. It was getting hard to see, but all they could see at the moment was trees.

"What do we do?" Goku called. The trees were getting too close.

"JUMP!" Sanzo yelled. He and Goku began to jump over the trees as they rolled at them. Then Goku jumped one but his foot hit the edge of the tree and he fell backwards…just as another tree was coming at him.

"Goku!" Sanzo yelled. He jumped over and grabbed him and jumped as the tree came up, successfully getting him and Goku over the tree.

They continued to jump. Then Sanzo noticed as they jumped they were splashing in water. He looked down for a second. Water was pooling all around them. It was a flash food.

'Damn!' Sanzo cursed to himself as he heard Goku yell, "Sanzo, watch out!"

The trees were still coming at him, and in his confusion he had forgotten about them. He managed to make it over just in time.

"Goku, we have to get to higher ground fast!"

The two tried to struggle up, despite the trees and water, but soon the water was up to their knees, making their trek even more difficult and making it harder to jump. Then as Goku tried to move faster, just as Sanzo predicted, he fell, and started getting washed away by the water.

"Sanzo, help!" he cried. Sanzo managed to grab his hand, but got carried away a little, until he got to an area where the ground was a little higher and tried to pull Goku up without slipping and falling in himself. He heard something behind him, and when he turned he saw a huge tree coming at him, and there was no way he could dodge in a way that could save both him and Goku. He ducked his head down, hoping at least that he could protect Goku from the tree.

"Nyoi-bo, extend!" yelled Goku, and his weapon stretched out, snapping the tree in half and causing it to go around Sanzo. It extended more and more, and they both held on as it got them up to higher ground on the mountain.

"There!" Sanzo yelled as he saw a cave. The two ran to the cave and decided to wait there until morning or until it stopped raining.

Meanwhile, a face outside in the rain scowled. _Curses! I can't understand how you managed to escape my traps! I thought for sure the trees and the flash flood would finish you off! Well, I suppose there's nothing more I can do for now. I'll be waiting for both of you at the shrine higher up, and you will wish you were never reborn, Konzen. _Li Touten stood up, and hurried to the shrine at the top of the mountain to wait for the unsuspecting pair to come.

Scribble: GAH! More suspense! It's getting to be too much!

Me: Well, yeah, I put it under this category. Well, here's the latest chapter. I'm terrible at action scenes, but I really wanted to put it in because I was thinking of the first Donkey Kong video game where the evil monkey throws barrels at you and you try to dodge them. Also! BE WARNED! There is much angst ahead! So thanks for reading again, my friends. As always, I love con crit and good reviews, so super thanks to those who give them to me! Long Live the Sanzo-ikkou!

-titangirl161


	7. Epiphany

Hi everyone! I'm back with a new chapter! Yay! Once again, it's raining while I write this, which makes it special. I'm also listening to Lilium (What2callmyself: You're welcome!!), a song I love hearing when it rains, (which W2cm burned on a CD for me) and it may get more special, as my s key isn't working right, and the only time I can use it is when I remove it, so I'll have to type with the key off. Boooooo. Well, nothing I can do, so we'll start. Scribble, take it away!

Scribble: We do not own Saiyuki and we probably never will.

Lost Lives

Chapter 5: Epiphany

Inside the cave, Sanzo sat staring out into the rain, miserable again. Goku sat near him, watching him, getting more and more agitated. Finally, unable to take it anymore, he sat down by him, almost on top of him, and the monk looked down at him angry. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Sitting," Goku told Sanzo.

"There are about five hundred other places to sit! Pick one of them!"

"No!"

"Then why do you have to pick on top of me?"

"Why can't I?"

"I swear if you don't answer me right now, I'm going to-"

"Because I care about you! And I hate to see you sitting here hating yourself like this!"

Needless to say, Sanzo was stunned at Goku's outburst. He had never really thought about it before, but as he did, he understood what Goku meant. After all, he did hate himself. He hated himself for a lot of things. He hated himself because he had been too weak to protect his master. He hated himself because he resorted to running away after Komyou's death and fell into sin. He hated how he would have loved to end his own life but was too cowardly to do so. And as of late, he hated how he couldn't seem to do anything for Goku. Maybe that was why Goku would be happier somewhere else with someone else. Konzen. Sanzo swallowed and he realized he felt like he had a huge lump in his throat, and he didn't know why.

And then Goku did something he never did before that shocked Sanzo beyond all belief. He climbed up into his lap and rested his head against his caretaker's chest. Sanzo could only sit there frozen in shock. "I don't want you to hate yourself. You're the most important person in the whole world to me."

Sanzo once again felt like he was swallowing a huge lump.

"I've always wondered something though. You told me you were going to find somewhere for me to go, but when you came back, you told me I could stay with you. What made you change your mind?"

Sanzo remembered that time. "I went to the Three Aspects to see where there would be a home for you, but when I told them, they said that you weren't even a demon, but some kind of monster. I told them that couldn't be, that you were only a tiny, stupid bottomless pit of a child. And at that moment, I also realized I was the only one who would be able to care for you."

"You saw me for what I really was," Goku said softly. "So what do you think I am now?"

"A stupid bottomless pit of a brat," Sanzo answered without missing a beat.

"But you don't think I'm a monster?" Goku asked looking up at him.

Sanzo looked down in his ward's golden eyes. "No. Never."

Goku leaned his head back against Sanzo's chest, smiling, and a few tears fell from his eyes. "When I was back in the cave, when I first saw you…the sun was shining right behind you, and as I looked out, I thought that you were glowing. That the light was coming from you. You looked just like the sun, and I thought you were the sun. You were. You are. You're still my sun."

Sanzo had another lump to swallow, and he felt tears coming to his eyes. The words Goku had yelled at him only a few days earlier came back to hit at full force.

_"If I knew in the cave that you would treat me like this, I would've told you to leave me there!"_

'Why did you call for me?' Sanzo wondered, lowering his head so he was he looking directly into Goku's hair. 'I admit I was lonely, but it was better than having to lose someone I cared for. So why did you keep calling until I finally came? You think I'm cruel? Goku, you're the cruel one.'

_"If I knew in the cave that you would treat me like this, I would've told you to leave me there!"_

'You're the one who made me love you just so you could leave!' Sanzo's last thought hurt the most and he finally let the tears fall.

He loved Goku. The little monkey looked up to him like a father, and slowly became the only one who could ever break through the boundaries of Sanzo' heart one by one. He was the only one who managed to worm his way into Sanzo's cold and lonely heart. And now he was going to lose him.

He had known from the beginning that Goku would leave one day, and he shouldn't get attached to him. But it hadn't worked out as he thought it would. And Goku stayed for too long at his side, just as Hakkai had said. And Sanzo had hoped, in a small way, that Goku wouldn't leave, that he would stay with him always. He knew it was stupid, but Goku was the only one he truly cared for, and to lose someone that important again…

He was going to lose him. Goku had a family, and he belonged with them. And Sanzo realized he didn't know how he would say goodbye. He didn't know how he could say goodbye. It would break his heart to have to leave Goku there. But Sanzo had no right to keep him from them.

'Why?' he thought as he let his tears fall into Goku's hair. 'Why did you make me care about you? What was so special about me that it was me you called? You'd probably be a hundred times happier with someone- anyone- else, so why did you call me?'

_"If I knew in the cave that you would treat me like this, I would've told you to leave me there!"_

'Why would you put up with me, keep caring despite my moods and outbursts, love me until I ended up loving you so you could leave me now? Did you want to do this to me? I know I wasn't the perfect guardian. I know I messed up. I know I really didn't have a clue on how to take care of you. But I really did give it my all. I really did try to teach you the best I could. I'm sorry I'm not perfect, but even still, I don't deserve to be punished like this!'

He heard Goku snoring gently. He could never ask Goku the questions running through his mind. And he knew he had to let Goku go, even if it killed him inside. He lifted his head so his tears wouldn't fall on the young boy anymore, and instead just stroked his hair, knowing soon he wouldn't be able to do it ever again and fell into a restless sleep.

The Next Day

Goku was running ahead of Sanzo again and he looked back to get a good look at his guardian. Sanzo looked terrible. He woke up grumbling about a headache, but he must've not gotten enough sleep, because his eyes were bleary and he looked like a mess. He had really not been himself at all these last few days, and Goku was sure it had to do with what he had told him that night. Sanzo had been way off ever since that night. Goku once again wished he could take it back if it would make Sanzo feel better. He decided to try something different. "Sanzo, you're such a slowpoke!" he teased.

"I am not, I just didn't sleep well last night."

"Come on," he whined, going back and taking Sanzo's hand. "After all, the sooner we find out, the sooner we go back, right?"

Sanzo stared a moment. Goku had said 'we'. He remembered what Hakkai told him, and a part of him felt a little hopeful again. "Just keep going, saru."

Goku decided to ignore the nickname, because Sanzo looked a little better already. He smiled, glad to have Sanzo back, and the two pushed on, Goku leading the way.

Scribble: Wow, that chapter actually made me sad.

Me: I know, I was almost crying while writing it. Must be the rain.

Scribble: And the fact you're listening to a sad song.

Me: Yeah, that too. Well, friends, here's the latest from your truly. There will be two more chapters…one really long ending chapter, and then a short epilogue. That being said, the next chapter will take some time for me to type it, so it may take a while, but never fear, for I will finish it! Thanks for reading, and more thanks if you review! Con crit and good reviews are loved by me as always. Long Live the Sanzo-ikkou!

-titangirl161


	8. Welcome to the End

Friends! I now present to you the latest chapter! Yay! Now, as I mentioned early, the story itself was based off a picture I saw, but then most of the chapters were also based off of different pictures. If you would like to see, leave a review for this or the next/last chapter saying you'd like them, and I'll send you an e-mail with the attachment of the pictures- of course, this means I'll need a SIGNED review so I can see your email on the profile. Also, THANK YOU REVIEWERS! You all get an e-cookie of your choice of flavor! So let's take it away. Scribble?

Scribble: We do not own Saiyuki, awesome as it is. If we did, it would not be so awesome. We also stole the title of this chapter from a song with the same title, which we also do not own.

Lost Lives

Chapter 6: Welcome to the End

Hakkai stood there, mixing together the dinner he was preparing for himself and Gojyo, feeling very irritated. It had been almost a week now, and he couldn't even begin to remember where he had heard the name Konzen, and it was bugging him to no end. He was so sure he knew….

He looked over at his companion, who was playing solitaire on the table. It was the kind where you lay four cards down in a row, and the only way to remove them is to use the highest card of the same suite. Aces are highest, and the object is to remove all cards until there is just a row of aces after going through the whole deck. You can't move any cards, except aces move when they are uncovered and there is an open row. (What2callmyself: I so totally taught you that game. And now everyone else knows too! :D) Gojyo told him it was a difficult game, and he had only won a few times, and right now he looked like he was losing, as he couldn't seem to stop scowling. Maybe he knew?

"Gojyo?"

"Yeah?" His friend replied in a monotone without looking up, obviously paying more attention to his game than his friend, which Hakkai didn't really mind.

"There's this name I recently heard…Konzen."

Gojyo's hands froze. Hakkai continued. "I'm sure I heard the name before, but I can't remember where. Would you happen to know?"

Gojyo's eye twitched. "Isn't that what that bitch called Sanzo?"

Hakkai's eyes popped as the memory started to resurface. "What?"

"I'll always remember exactly what happened, no matter how much I want to forget. First she puts Goku's diadem back on, then kisses me, which nearly kills me, then goes over and kisses Sanzo too, but she calls him Konzen. I always thought that was kinda weird, don't you?" (Not to mention not being fully female…)

Hakkai froze as he realized what it meant. "Maybe we should visit them next weekend," he murmured.

Elsewhere

Goku and Sanzo reached near the top of the mountain and saw what looked like an archway into something; perhaps the rumor about it being a shrine was true? Goku and he stopped and just stared at it a second. "Is this where we have to go?" Goku asked softly.

"Only one way to find out," Sanzo murmured and the two walked in.

They walked until they got to a large cleared out area inside the cave. Sanzo looked around at the top near the ceiling. There were pictures of what he guessed heaven should look like, but from the story the pictures told, it sure didn't seem like heaven. The people in this paradise were being imprisoned, tortured, banished…it seemed more like hell to him.

He was about to tell Goku they should leave when he heard footsteps coming from where they had just entered, and the aura he felt that was coming towards them was definitely not friendly. They couldn't go back now. He noticed a small door on the other end of the room. "Goku, go through that door and get out of here."

"What? No! I can't leave you behind! I'll stay and fight with you!"

"Just go! This is your only chance to find out about Konzen! Don't worry about me, I'll be fine."

Goku looked like he didn't want to go at all, but he listened to Sanzo and ran to the other door and went in, disappearing from sight.

The footsteps were getting closer and closer. Sanzo turned to face whatever was coming for him. Soon there stood a man with long dark hair, a chakra on his forehead and a smirk on his face. "So tell me, what do they call you down here?" the man asked.

"I'm the 31st of China, Genjyo Sanzo," Sanzo replied, giving him the title he gave everybody. "And who are you?"

"A Sanzo, of course, I should expect no less from you. A shame you don't remember me, my name is Li Touten, however, there's no need for you to remember it, after all," he waved his hand and Sanzo was sent flying into the wall behind him, and finished, "I will be the one who kills you."

Sanzo fell to the floor, coughing a little. The force that had sent him back winded him as well and he struggled to catch his breath. Li Touten gave him no time, and was immediately in front of him, lifting him by his robes and throwing him across the room again. He smirked. 'He's no match for me in his human body.'

Sanzo managed to rise to his feet. "Tell me what it is you want. You're the one who's been trying to kill us, I know that much, but why?"

"Kill 'us', you say? Oh no, I'm not trying to kill Goku. He's VERY important, you see, after all, it's partly his fault we need another war prince now. Since he's been causing the trouble, it's only fair that he take responsibility for it. However, you're in the way, just as you always were, so I'm afraid I will have to get rid of you. Then I will take Goku back to train him into a war prince."

"Over my dead body you will," Sanzo snapped.

"As you wish, although I would've done that anyway."

Sanzo fired at him, but he was too fast and dodged all the bullets. He was suddenly right behind Sanzo and the monk felt a sharp pain in his side as he tried to move. He looked down to see that there was now blood, and turning a little around, he saw he had been stabbed with a small knife.

The knife was wrenched out and Sanzo was thrown to the floor, gasping. His side hurt way too much to move, but he couldn't just sit there. As the figure approached he fired another shot.

Once again, the shot missed, but this time the man made 'tsk'-ing sounds. "Such poor manners you have. Don't you know how much it hurts to get shot? Maybe I should teach you."

The bullet he had fired suddenly changed its course away from the wall and hit him in the shoulder. Sanzo let out a small cry and fell back, clutching his shoulder, hissing. Now blood was flowing from his shoulder as well. He was lifted up again. "Now tell me, where is Son Goku?"

"Bite me," Sanzo snapped, and he was thrown into a wall. He collapsed there, struggling to breath, trying to stand again. The man laughed. "You still just don't know when to give up, don't you?" He walked until he was right in front of Sanzo, and waving his hand, the vines inside the cave wrapped themselves around him, lifting him off the ground, squeezing tight, but at least cutting off the blood flow. "You probably have no idea, do you? Very well, I will tell you exactly what Goku is."

Elsewhere

Goku ran and ran and as he did, he couldn't stop himself from crying. He never should've left Sanzo there all alone.

He also noticed he had a headache. It had been small at first, but it seemed to get worse and worse with every step he took, until he finally saw a room at the end of the hall and stumbled into it, falling over.

As he raised his head, he saw a statue of a man with long hair, looking serene and calm. He looked so majestic Goku couldn't help but stare at the statue. He looked down and saw a small plaque, so he crawled over and began to read.

"Konzen Douji. A high ranking deity, Konzen was the nephew of the merciful goddess and held great power. His downfall occurred when a small being was put in his care…which he named…" Goku could barely bring himself to finish the sentence, "Son Goku."

Memories flooded back. He remembered the first day he met Konzen.

"_Wow, your hair's so pretty! It's shining just like the sun!" _

"_Ouch! What did you do that for?" Konzen yelled soon after Goku accidentally tugged a little too hard at his hair and ripped it out. _

_"Konzen, I need a name!" Goku whined._

_"Goku. Your name is Son Goku." _

_"So the blossoms at the top of the tree live differently, huh? I'd like to see that," Konzen said as they sat under a sakura tree. _

_"If I'm being weird, then take responsibility and stay here," Konzen said, his own indirect way of telling Goku he wanted him there with him. _

The memories stopped. Goku looked back down at the plaque again. "When it was decided Goku would be made into a war prince, he fled with the boy, but was killed by…Li Touten. Son Goku has never been found."

More memories came flooding back, all bad. From his dreams, running in the rain with Konzen dragging him along. Konzen staying to fight this Li Touten, fighting a battle he knew he would lose. Getting to his Aunt's temple and trying to get her to help, while she just stood there, and then…

He couldn't remember any more, and he didn't want to. He buried his face in hands and cried. Konzen…he was dead, and it was Goku's fault. And now that he had dragged Sanzo into this, Sanzo would be dead soon as well. Why was it he only seemed to bring misfortune to those who took care of him? Was it too late for Sanzo now too?

He heard something behind him and turned around. There was a man standing there, dressed in light colors, with long blonde hair, and Goku knew who it was immediately. "Konzen…I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Goku sobbed out.

Konzen said nothing, but made a motion for Goku to follow. His image started to fade, and Goku could see there were small orbs of light flying around that had made Konzen visible in the first place. Then they all scattered and started flying down the hallway from whence he had just come.

"Konzen, wait!" Goku cried, chasing after them as if he could convince them to come back, as if they could somehow bring Konzen back. He continued to run until he got back to where he had left Sanzo, and peeked in.

Sanzo was a mess, covered in blood, and being held up in vines. He was still alive, which was some relief to Goku. There was a man smirking up at him, and Goku could just barely hear him.

"He's not a demon, or human, yet he's not quite a god either. He's a heresy, a monster. He doesn't belong here, or anywhere else, and he only will bring chaos and misfortune. Did you think that just because he wears that diadem that the one you know as Goku- that's his true nature? That's only what's left after suppressing the Seiten Taisei. You should've made it easy on yourself and just given him up to me. After all, you've seen what color his eyes are. Deep down, you know full well what he is."

Goku slumped down against the wall. It was true, all of it, and Goku knew it. He had only brought trouble to his caretaker, and now he was going to die. Maybe if Goku just gave up and went with him now, maybe he wouldn't kill Sanzo.

But then he saw Sanzo's lips twist into a smirk. "Do you think I'm stupid? I've always known what he is- he's a stupid, bottomless pit of a brat, regardless of whether his eyes are gold, red, blue, purple…they could be orange for all I care. Do you honestly think any of that matters?"

Goku almost couldn't believe it. Sanzo…Sanzo had known, and was still defending him? He remembered…that was what Sanzo had told him that night…and he still believed it was true, that the Goku he knew was what he truly was. He knew what he could be, and yet kept him all along. He said he realized he was the only one who could take care of him…but why?

A small orb of light brushed past his face, and it felt like someone's hand. "Konzen?" he called, but all the orbs began flying in slowly, and they settled around Sanzo, and Goku could see a faint image in front of Sanzo…the image of the man who had cared for him so long ago. But as he looked, he realized the hair style and length of hair were different, as were the clothes, but the color of his hair, his eyes, his face…all those features were exactly the same. It was the same face. The same person, and he raised his head up to glare murderously at the man, and the words he said were all too familiar from his dream. "Goku's mine! I won't let you take him from me!"

Goku began to cry, but his tears were now of relief and joy. "Konzen…it was you…Sanzo…it was you all along. Konzen…you came back. Sanzo came for me. You were always by my side. Sanzo, it was you all along." He had caused Konzen trouble, but it seemed that must've been what he wanted, because he would not allow even death to separate the two of them. And Sanzo never cared if Goku had caused him trouble, just the same. He remembered the words he heard long ago. _Konzen was reincarnated as a human, and he found the boy, and the two were reunited._ His story did have a happy part. Konzen became Sanzo, and came to him, and as Sanzo, he stayed always by his side.

Goku had two different lives, but in each he always had the same sun.

Meanwhile Li Touten was shocked. He was certain he had just seen Konzen, as an image over the man held there. 'No! That's impossible! It can't be!' he thought as Sanzo began to chant, and his scripture flew outwards, breaking him free and ensnaring Li Touten, who was still in too much shock to move. By the time he realized what was happening, Sanzo had raised his gun. "Let's see how well you dodge when you can't move," he said and then fired.

Li Touten realized he could only escape now back to heaven, but the Jade Emperor was sure to be returning right now. However, if he stayed, he would die. He had lost his chance. Just before the bullet hit him, he vanished and the sutra fell to the ground.

"Che," Sanzo made a disapproving sound as he saw he hadn't killed him. However, he was still pretty sure that he wouldn't be coming back any time soon. As he turned around, something ran into him, calling "Sanzo!" and Goku jumped into him, hugging him.

Needless to say, Sanzo was pretty shocked. But he had made his decision right as he had fought. Goku was his. He wasn't going to give him up without a fight. He asked, "Did you find what you were looking for?"

Goku looked up at him, tears in his eyes but with the biggest smile imaginable on his face. "Yeah, I did. I had it all along." He began to pull at Sanzo's arm. "Let's go back now."

Sanzo couldn't believe it. Goku still wanted to go back with him? He was happy to hear that, although he couldn't understand why. But then Goku's smile faded, and a look of fear flashed in his eyes. "Sanzo watch out!" he screamed, pushing him and a large rock that was about to hit Sanzo hit Goku's head instead, knocking him out. Another rock fell close to where Sanzo was standing. He looked up at the ceiling. Rocks were falling. The cave was about to collapse.

Sanzo picked up Goku and ran, carrying him out of the cave just before they would've been crushed. As soon as they were safely out of harm's way, he gently shook the boy. "C'mon Goku, I know something like that wouldn't kill you, wake up."

Goku groaned and opened his eyes. "Sanzo, I'm hungry," he whined. If Sanzo hadn't been so relieved he would've smacked him with the fan right then. Goku looked around blinking. "Huh? Where are we?"

"Outside the cave."

"What? Why? What happened to it?"

"It collapsed, and you made it so I had to carry you out." Sanzo paused. "What did you learn in there anyway?"

Goku opened his mouth, but then realized he didn't remember anything. Every memory he had retrieved inside was gone again. "I…I don't know. I don't remember."

Sanzo stared wide eyed. "What do you mean you don't know?" He seriously hoped that rock hadn't damaged Goku's memory.

"I just don't remember now."

Sanzo sighed. After all they had done, and now Goku didn't even remember? But Goku smiled at him. "Well, just like you said, it means it's probably not that important anyway."

Sanzo didn't even want to deal with this right now. "Let's just go."

"I'm really tired."

Sanzo was going and he didn't care. And so he picked Goku up and started walking, and soon Goku fell asleep, resting his head on Sanzo's shoulder as Sanzo carried him.

(A/N: I decided to put a few things at the end of this chapter instead of the next one, because the last one will be really short.)

Meanwhile

Kanzeon could not stop laughing, rolling on the floor, as she watched what happened. "THAT IS TOO PRICELESS!" she managed to scream between laughs.

Jiroshin sighed. "All that work and this happens. Oh well, it's probably for the best anyways."

Kanzeon managed to sit up. "Well, that was certainly an interesting chapter in his story, don't you think so? And Li Touten came back here, just in time to greet the Jade Emperor," she said, stepping outside to see the Jade Emperor returning, and Li Touten standing a little while off with a scowl on his face. She turned to him. "What's wrong? Couldn't find a war prince? Couldn't get Goku away from a little human? Oh how tragic. Whatever will we do now?" she mocked.

He continued to scowl. "Just you wait," he mumbled. "I will get him someday."

"Try it and my nephew will stop you every time," she murmured back.

The Jade Emperor was greeted and fawned over, and the merciful goddess got bored as she usually did and went back to her temple a little early. "Wait, what are you doing?" Jiroshin asked.

"Oh, just one more thing before the final part of this chapter." And she closed her eyes to see the inside of a dream.

Meanwhile

Goku was having one last dream.

In his dream, he was watching as his younger self slept inside the cave, and just outside the cave, Konzen was kneeling down, looking in on him and invisible to his younger self. "Just be patient a little while. I won't leave you here forever. I'll come back to you, I promise."

Time passed, and Goku remained asleep as Konzen watched. "I know it is lonely and cold," Konzen said. "Just wait a little while. I will come. I won't leave you here alone."

Then once more, Konzen stood up. "It's not much longer now. I'll be here very soon, just as promised. I'll get you out of here and we'll be together again." Then Konzen changed in the slightest bit, and it was Sanzo standing outside his cage, and the Goku inside woke up and looked up at him just as he did the day Sanzo came, and Sanzo asked, "Are you the one that was calling me?"

The scene vanished, and Goku heard something behind him. He turned and saw the fortune teller he had met not so long ago. "I take it you went to find Konzen."

"Yeah, Sanzo and I went."

"And?"

"I don't remember much, but then again, I don't need to. What I really wanted was to know who Konzen was. And I know now. Konzen is Sanzo. I already know who he is because I know who Sanzo is. And I'm ok with knowing just that."

"Just as well," said the fortune teller as she vanished with a smile. "Just as well."

Scribble: And the day is saved!

Me: Yes it is. And so, the next chapter will be the last. Thanks to all those who have been reading, who just came in, who continue to read, and especially to those who review. After this, I'm taking a vacation because I have lots of new mangas that I have been ignoring (what's wrong with me?) which are dying to be read. But I'll return someday! So see you all next chapter, coming very soon to a website new you aka here! Long Live the Sanzo-ikkou!

-titangirl161

(What2callmyself: Yes, yes, awesomeness. Now we just have to get you to stop worshipping commas so much… :P)


	9. Epilogue

Hello friends, and it's last chapter time! LAST CHAPTER OH YEAH! It was a long hard journey, but we're at the end at last, and I'm very pleased with the way it came out, so yay to that too. It's a short epilogue, but I wanted to put it in nonetheless. Thanks to all who have been with me since the beginning, who just came in, who joined in the middle, and most of all, to all who reviewed, and my beta What2callmyself! (Gives reviewers trophies.) Now let's finish this up! Take it away Scribble!

Scribble: We don't own Saiyuki, and we will (VERY) impatiently wait for the next chapters to come out.

Lost Lives

Epilogue

"I don't believe you."

Sanzo said this completely monotonously and deadpan to the green-eyed man in front of him. Hakkai only continued to smile while across the room Goku and Gojyo were fighting over something he could care less about. "It's true. It was Gojyo who remembered. That was what she called you- Konzen."

"My name is not and never has been Konzen. That's just absurd."

"All the same, it's what she called you. Which means that the one Goku was looking for was you."

Sanzo sat in a confused silence. Hakkai sighed to himself. Why was it no one ever listened to the ones who knew? It would really make everything so much easier on everyone. "At any rate, Goku chose to stay here with you, just as I said. And it looks like he's happy here, don't you think so?"

Just then Goku complained," I'm hungry!"

Sanzo sighed and Hakkai laughed, while Gojyo came up with a solution. "Actually lunch sounds pretty good right now, why don't we all get something? Looks like our monkey came up with a good idea for once," he teased Goku.

"I'm not a monkey, cockroach!"

"Who the hell are you calling a cockroach?" Gojyo yelled, grabbing Goku in a headlock.

"Um, Sanzo and I are going without you if you don't come now," Hakkai called, both him and Sanzo at the door to leave.

"Don't tell them Hakkai, let's just leave without them," Sanzo muttered.

"I heard that! And you call yourself a priest!" Gojyo snapped.

Goku ran to the door like lightning at the mention of food. "C'mon, let's go!" he cried, grabbing Sanzo's hand and tugging. Sanzo looked down at him, and Goku smiled back. It wasn't just the food that made him happy. It was also because he could eat with his two best friends in the whole world, and the man who was like a father to him. And as Sanzo let himself be pulled out, he thought about how Hakkai said he looked happy here. It was true. Goku had been happy just as things were, all along. He couldn't look any happier.

Sanzo felt the same way.

Scribble: Yay, a happy ending!

Me: Yeah, I'm a big fan of happy endings. There were only a few stories I wrote that didn't have happy endings, and they were hard to write. Well, people, there you have it! Remember, if you want to see the pictures that inspired this mess, send a review and ask for them. Now I have mangas to get to and a Gintama story to finish. Long Live the Sanzo-ikkou!

-titangirl161

(What2callmyself: Yay! :D heart)


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